i (i) wrote,
i
i

NEWSPAPER READERS

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the
country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but
don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their
statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the
country - if they could find the time, and if they didn't have to leave
Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country
and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat
on
the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running
the
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
but
need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure
there
is
a country, or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that
they
stand for. There are occasional exceptions: if the leaders are
handicapped,
minority, feminist, gay, atheist, dwarfs who also happen to be illegal
aliens
from any other country or galaxy, provided, of course, that they are not
conservatives.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery
store.

12. And, finally, the country IS run by someone who doesn't read a
newspaper at all.
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