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May. 22nd, 2002 | 08:13 pm

honesty may be the best policy, but sometimes it is best kept to oneself.

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Comments {23}

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(no subject)

from: workroom
date: May. 22nd, 2002 08:20 pm (UTC)
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how can we be sure this is not a lie?

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(no subject)

from: redkitten
date: May. 22nd, 2002 08:29 pm (UTC)
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whew, learned that one the hard way today...
you know, as if i hadn't several times before.

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i

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from: i
date: May. 22nd, 2002 08:35 pm (UTC)
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learning it is easy. living by it is damn near impossible.

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from: redkitten
date: May. 22nd, 2002 09:01 pm (UTC)
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and it's sometimes a mistake you can't fix.

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SwanSea Farm

(no subject)

from: attelage
date: May. 22nd, 2002 08:45 pm (UTC)
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Being candidly honest isn't always a good thing.

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(no subject)

from: ex_windows336
date: May. 22nd, 2002 09:24 pm (UTC)
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my problem is that i keep too many things to myself :/

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Cyn

(no subject)

from: cynnerth
date: May. 23rd, 2002 05:53 am (UTC)
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Can withholding something honest be considered the same as lying?

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i

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from: i
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:00 am (UTC)
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no

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Cyn

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from: cynnerth
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:02 am (UTC)
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I don't think so either...unless it's withheld in such a way that it gives the impression that you feel differently than you do.

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i

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from: i
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:08 am (UTC)
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i suppose motivation has a lot to do with how we look at both lying and witholding. i prefer to withold than to lie in most circumstances.

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Cyn

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from: cynnerth
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:09 am (UTC)
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I have been painfully honest in the past and hurt someone as a result. I'd much rather withhold, but never want to lie.

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SwanSea Farm

(no subject)

from: attelage
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:15 am (UTC)
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I don't think so.
I think biting one's tongue at times is considerate.
I'll never forget the time my girlfriend's brother asked me to make big baby blue bows to line the aisle/pews at his wedding. About a year later, my friend was planning her own wedding and we were shopping for her gown and she was picking out bridesmaids dresses. As she was flipping through the different colors and fabrics, she asked my generic opinion and I commented, "anything but that crappy baby blue color, I hate that color for weddings, and gagged when I was making the bows for your brothers wedding."
Imagine my surprise when I was invited to the wedding but not as part of the wedding party, and sat there horrified when I saw that crappy baby blue color on the bridesmaids and the big baby blue bows that I made a year earlier, recycled for her wedding. To this day, I wish I had said something more along the lines of, "oh, any color you pick will be lovely".
I'm not sure Dave is thinking about this kind of honesty, I'm thinking it's more along the lines of really personal, intimate stuff is better left private. Maybe not?

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SwanSea Farm

(no subject)

from: attelage
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:19 am (UTC)
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Heh, I go to answer Cyn's question and find a whole slew of comments.
GMTA!
;)

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Kevin

(no subject)

from: low_delta
date: May. 23rd, 2002 07:02 am (UTC)
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Why would someone leave you out of their wedding just because of a difference of opinion over color? I mean, sure you expressed disgust, but still...

I've heard a couple of these stories lately, and I just don't get it.

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SwanSea Farm

(no subject)

from: attelage
date: May. 23rd, 2002 08:00 am (UTC)
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Hurt feelings? Overly sensitive?
She said she decided to just have family members as bridesmaids but our friendship never recovered, even though I did apologize. I think it just really hurt her feelings. It was big deal to her apparently. I think when push comes to shove, people are unpredictable. You just never know what or how someone will respond. So, coming full circle, sometimes being silent is a better choice than speaking one's mind.

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(no subject)

from: ex_ly656
date: May. 23rd, 2002 08:26 am (UTC)
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yes..
almost 29, and i just started learning that a few months ago

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i

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from: i
date: May. 23rd, 2002 03:35 pm (UTC)
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i'll be 44 in a couple months, and it is still an effort

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Robert

Yes

from: gurdonark
date: May. 23rd, 2002 09:45 am (UTC)
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I find the quoted statement very true.

I must always be honest.
I should usually refrain from voluntering negative honest facts.

When I am being honest in an e mail, I learned the hard way this year that it is better to start with the finger hovering over the delete key than it is with the finger hovering over the send key.

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глюкiosaur de champlain

(no subject)

from: chaizzilla
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:06 pm (UTC)
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you can be honest w/o being open.

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i

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from: i
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:12 pm (UTC)
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but not the other way around...

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глюкiosaur de champlain

(no subject)

from: chaizzilla
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:40 pm (UTC)
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doh, now i'm gonna end up pondering this one

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i

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from: i
date: May. 23rd, 2002 06:41 pm (UTC)
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pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering?

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глюкiosaur de champlain

(no subject)

from: chaizzilla
date: May. 23rd, 2002 07:16 pm (UTC)
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the last thing i thought before drowing out my brain with moldavian hardcore was "hmm.. transparency?"

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