i (i) wrote,
i
i

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Nahima's question about platonic relationships the other day, which I answered very awkwardly since I was confused, has got me thinking. Leaving the word platonic aside, consider these four elements of a relationship. Not the only four, but I think they will clarify what I was trying to say yesterday.

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Nahima's question about platonic relationships the other day, which I answered very awkwardly since I was confused, has got me thinking. Leaving the word platonic aside, consider these four elements of a relationship. Not the only four, but I think they will clarify what I was trying to say yesterday.

<b.love
sex
commitment
monogamy</b>

Most combinations of these are possible. Lets look at some of them.

Love without sex, commitment, or monogamy.
Can you have love without commitment? I think love in itself is a commitment unless it is unexpressed.

Sex without love, commitment, or monogamy.
To me, this is like two people using each other's bodies to masturbate. That's fine, but personally, I am unable to have sex without creating in myself the illusion of love, which is very dangerous, and has led to a lot of pain, for myself and some of my partners.

Love and sex, without commitment or monogamy.
This is what I think some people were talking about in the responses to nahima's post. Some people can do this, I can't. If I am sharing that kind of intimacy with someone, I want it to be exclusive. I should say that I did do this once, and in the end, when I found someone I wanted to be exclusive with, I lost a friend.

Love, commitment and monogamy without sex.
This is the old fashioned way. Wait until sealing the commitment with a ceremony before sex. Why wait if you are in love, committed and monogamous?

Love, commitment, and sex without monogamy.
Some couples can do this, (evidently the Clintons are one), I think I could possibly handle it if there was no deception involved, although that damn illusion rears its head again.

This probably wasn't any clearer than my previous answer.
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